I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
