ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
