he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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