So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
