This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
