Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
