Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
