I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
