so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
