It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
