This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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