Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
