didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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