ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
