Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
