They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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