His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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