I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
