he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
