even my farts smell like vagina
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
