i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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