his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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