I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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