if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
