i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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