can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
