He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
