i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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