he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
