Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
