there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
