WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
