perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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