Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'

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(954): View more from Florida

my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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(540): View more from Virginia

I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.

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(845): View more from New York

her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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(503): View more from Oregon

It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.

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