You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
