I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
