He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
