i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
