Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
