I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
