it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
