oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Bring me that man meat
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
