she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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