im gay
i know
yea but for you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
