ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
