Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
