i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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