garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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