I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did not marry a roomba.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
