His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
